The pedestal

'Can you give me a lift?' She said.

'Where?' He enquired.

'Up on this pedestal, please.'

'Why?'

'I think I'll look better up there.'

'But I won't be able to see you properly. You'll tower over me. I'll be looking up your skirt. Well, perhaps we could do it for a bit.'

'I want to be your muse. I want to be adored. I want to be untouchable. I want to taste the nectar of the gods. I want to be like a spectacularly high cathedral that men try to climb'.

'Yes, yes. Well, okay. I'll get a step ladder. What are you going to do once you're up there? There is not much room for movement. You might find it a bit static - statuesque.'

'I'll enjoy the view. And I'll be kept busy by all the people worshipping me and heaping praise on me.'

'Well, a change is as good as a break, I suppose. Just make sure you don't fall off and break something. Right, here's the step-ladder. It's a bit rickety, I'll hold it whilst you climb up.'

'Oh, I like this feeling of ascending. Now I can see all sorts of things which I couldn't see before. How do I look?'

'Erm. A bit distant. I've got a good view up your nostrils. You look a bit weird, actually. The perspective has put you all out of proportion'.

'Do I look like Boudicea on her chariot or Cleopatra on her throne or Joan of Arc being burnt at the stake?'

'Yes, dear. Now would you like a cup of tea?'

'Ooh yes. I could murder one.'

'Well, you better come down then, since I won't be able to pass it to you. I'll just get the step-ladder. Oh, no, it's broken. I'm not sure what to do. I'll just drink this cup of tea and describe it to you and then at least you can enjoy it vicariously.'

'Maybe if I call out to the heavens, they will help me'.

'I guess it's worth a try.'